My Grandma Passed Away

On January 5th 2015 I lost one of the people who loved me most in this world. I told myself I would not blog about this situation, but as I looked through December’s posts I had written about her fall. She was doing much better with her broken leg and broken foot and was going to get to leave the nursing home and go home to her recliner, her walker, her bible, her search a word puzzle, her phone and the people who loved her.

The flu took captive of my grandma, who fought for 94 years to stay with us. Just in November she told the doctor to go ahead and do surgery on her leg using and epidural as she had a weak heart they couldn’t put her under anastheia. I had arrived a few days before and when I got to the hospital Granny was not in her hospital room. “They took her down for surgery” a nurse said and told us where to go.

Granny was lying on a stretcher her blue eyes full of hope and fear she grabbed me by the hand. That beautiful hand that had diapered countless babies, fed people and touched cheeks, wiped tears away.

“I’m doing this so I can be with you fellars a while longer if the good lord let’s me and I hope he does.” She said her eyes filling with tears. I admired her strength. Though In knew she was afraid and in a lot of pain, she wanted to fix what was wrong and get back to her family.

The trouble seem to begin when they sent her to the nursing home. She began to get paranoid and we thought maybe it was the pain medication. She would get wild at times and they would send her to the local E.R. These trips were hard on her being sent by ambulance out in the cold with a blanket over her. She was always sensitive to the cold.

They began to say she had dementia, which I am still not certain off because she had been on a lot of pain medication. No one will know now. I tried to imagine life for granny with Dementia or Alzheimers, it would be okay, we would still have her and we would gently remind her when she forgot. We would tell her no one was going to hurt her when she felt someone was trying to hurt her.

We spent a few hours at the Nursing Home, before I was to go home with my family. She laughed as my daughter pretended to be a 150 and called granny “Little Girl.” granny’s cheeks looked pink and there was a sparkle in her eyes. She grabbed my hand and my husband’s hand and said “I hope you all can have a good life together.” I felt haunted then, because one never knows about a marriage, but I know Granny Loved us so much. Her grip was strong on all of us that day and I felt like she knew this may be the last time we would all be laughing in a room together.

As we drove past the nursing home the next day I told my husband we would just go on because I didn’t want to disturb her, the truth was maybe I was afraid that would be the last time I saw granny.

A month later, we are racing to Kentucky again. Granny has been sent to Hospice. She is dying. I am so angry how can they send her to hospice. Nothing was clear, flu, seizures, lost the ability to swallow, dying…

My granny fought for 8 days to breathe. My cousin And I would sit by her bed and try not to cry because they say that the dying can hear you up till the last heart beat. I left the day before my granny’s precious heart stopped beating I walked into the room kissed her on the head and walked away I said “Bye Granny.” And my heart is breaking. This is the first time in my life I have so deeply prayed there is a heaven because that dear lady deserves to be there.



Keep those Christmas Candy Canes!!!

IF you find some peppermint candy canes on sale after christmas it may be a great idea to grab one! Why? Peppermint works to reboot energy.

How can A candy Cane Perk you up?

Peppermint works as a pick me up because it’s oil contains natural compounds that arouse areas of the brain responsible for alertness.The scent opens your airways so you can breathe in more energizing oxygen and if you like to have a very cool experience take a few swigs of ice water along with your peppermint candy ice water  has been been proven to make the brain release adrenaline making your heat pump stronger and improve blood flow to the brain! Fun tidbits you didn’t know about Candy Canes and Ice water!!
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I don’t like you

Please go away

let me put on my makeup

let me finish my day

I want to call my Grandma

But you took her away

Go away grief I am so afraid

You remind me

someone I loved is gone

when my face begins

to ache and the tears


you don’t love anyone

leave the world alone

Oh, grief You have worn

us down…

You are just a feeling

but your color is black and void

I want you to let go of the hands

you have pulled into your net

yes, she is resting

but you yank at our souls,

go away grief leave us alone


Stop feeling ugly

Some people will always think they are unattractive. I have many days where I feel weird. I just cut my hair again major short. It is always freeing to me, maybe some rebel warrior I was once I don’t know who cut her hair grieving. I haven’t worn wigs a lot lately, which I think is also making me sad. I wanted to pump you up so here goes…..

I have stood for beauty for  years. Since I had a hysterectomy and sort of was set free from anemia. I came out to make up for lost time. I also decided that haters can just keep trolling along and I would go and try to make people feel beautiful. As a psychic I hear a lot of women tell me they are not beautiful. I ask tell them that they are. They say how can you say that when you can not see me I say I can feel your spirit.

I think every person can enhance their looks. I also feel like they can enhance their attitude as well. I have often told people look in magazines and try to copy a look or a makeup style. You may not have a clue how to start, but once you do people will notice and that one in the mirror will appreciate it most !


HI All,

I haven’t written much lately. My grandma fell in  Kentucky and I had to fly down there on a 20 seater plane and help out around the farm. I am still so tired. She broke her leg on  one side and her foot on the other asking for prayers. She is 94 her name is Margaret and she is beautiful!!!!!

HAPPY HALLOWeeennnnnnn

I wish I was in a costume. I wish I was in some office party or class room all dressed up. I have my broom though. I am clearing house so my girls can have company over after school. I have to clean upstairs next. I wanted to sit down and blog a while. The  magazine will start to pick up. Maybe I will study the popular blogs and see how they do it… Should I just be me and type in first person? What should I do BOOOOO!!!

And as always if you would like a reading

20 minutes is 20 dollars via pay pal you can email

me at I do not have any other

payment available god bless you !!

The Gentle Boy

He is 27 and he is like a teenager

He held me under the Agadir moon

in late December

and we sang happy birthday

and we Sang Happy new Year

two days apart…

He took me to the airport and his

hand was in mine

he loved me then

love is blind

he came and he went

he made up stories

he left me and came back

said he still loved me

Gentle Boy if I think about

your lips against mine it will hurt me,

I got over you,but there is a small

tear in my soul that if I think of

you I can almost hear you love me

against my skin…

our sin

oh my gentle Boy

how I loved you,

if only you would grow up

and know pain and loss

maybe you would realize what youAfrican Daisy

lost in me…../

In A Past Life

In a past life did you make love to me?
Did I give birth to your babies?
Why am I so attached to you?
In a past life did you choke

the life out of me? Were

we never meant to be?
In a past life did you kiss

me and kill for me when someone

tried to hurt me

did you love me?

Did you hate me?
Your eyes seem so familiar

I have loved you for centuries

I never believed in past lives

until I realized in this one

I was too attached that

I couldn’t take the pain

and when I close my eyes

I can see your eyes,

but who were you?
You don’t love me now

Maybe you never did

not now, not anymore

and not in any past life….